I Will Always Love You | Cover

In the adoption world, we hear about adoptee-adult relationship issues being inevitable and that adoptees who have been adopted cannot properly bond with anyone in their lives because of the trauma they experienced at the hands of their birth mother. 

There is a lot of discussion about adoptees’ inability to bond and maintain relationships. In contrast, we seldom discuss the struggles adoptees face when friendships end or when we experience rejection by our family. Loss of meaningful relationships and rejection are everyday experiences for people, but for adoptees, it is so much more painful. Our ability to love hard and commit to someone we trust and have a deep bond with is heavily influenced by our adoption trauma. When we find a trustworthy friend, we genuinely commit to them. However, when we love deeply and a friendship breakup occurs, we are highly affected by it due to our history of trauma.

It is impossible to know whether relinquishment or replacement directly affects adoptee relationships because human behavior is complex and multifaceted. The adoption process is complex, particularly when it comes to relationships between adopted adults, but we cannot generalize about all adoptees since they are all different.

Although I recorded this song a few years ago, I redid it due to its resonance with me this time. Instead of singing right through the song, I had to work through it personally.  Instead of embracing the good memories and years of a beautiful friendship, I focused on the events that ended the friendships and the pain caused and wished I could erase the work and energy I put into those friendships.

I held out for a year, hoping they would recover, but I finally realized the friendships were over. Moving forward, I realized I had to carefully choose my friends, discern the red flags, and be okay with letting go of the unhealthy relationships that detrimentally affected my health. 

My last realization was that I was meant to be in relationships with others. I know that God will guide me to the right friendships that will be positive influences on my life and help me grow spiritually. 

There comes a point in your life when you realize that some people can remain in your heart but not in your life. The friendships I had as a child have diminished over the years, and this is something I have had to let go of. There were some who never even had an explanation. This song is for you, those dear friendships I have held on to for decades. I truly hope life has treated you well.